Old Cuban

Walking into the dimly lit tavern, we had no idea that our lives were about to change so dramatically. It all started so innocently. Dale and I wanted to take Daphne and the Tiki Gal out for a nice dinner. We chose the Brady Tavern because it was fairly new, it was owned by the same guy who owns McNellie's, and we had heard good things about it. We made the short drive to downtown Tulsa, quickly found the restaurant, and went inside.

We were led past the bar and through a doorway to a table in the main dining area. The room was lit by candles on the tables so it was pleasingly dim. The building was old and the owner had made the smart decision to showcase the original architecture by not covering the faded brick wall. He had also enhanced the effect by installing dark, hardwood floors and decorating with pictures and photos of bygone eras.

Once we were seated, the waiter served us chilled water out of a wine bottle and handed us the drink menus. This is the exact moment when the trouble started. Daphne and the Tiki Gal were browsing the menus, looking for something a little different, a little exotic when, simultaneously, they spotted them. Bronzed by the sun and with their years of experience showing plainly in their sparkling eyes, they sat comfortably at the bar. They exuded a classic romanticism with which Dale and I just couldn't compete. Lime green eyes, sweet dispositions, refreshing simplicity with just a hint of minty flair, an effervescent sense of humor, and just a dash of spicy exoticism drew Daphne and the Tiki Gal in like sharks to chum and before Dale and I knew what was happening, they were hooked. Our wives had introduced themselves to a couple of Old Cubans and we were yesterday's news, gone and forgotten, old fries under the car seat, toast.

The worst part was that Dale and I had to watch it all happen. The girls were tentative at first because they didn't know what to expect. They flirted softly, gently with a quiet laugh and toss of the hair. That first taste was like ambrosia, however, and innocent, coquettish behavior soon flew out the window. They were quickly all over those Old Cubans like fruit flies on ripe bananas. There was no teasing involved, they just got right down to it and enjoyed those Old Cubans with a gusto Dale and I had seldom seen. We were, of course, taken aback by this extraordinary chain of events but we knew that once the girls got going, it was best just to let them finish.

Once Daphne and the Tiki Gal had emptied the Old Cubans, they started looking longingly toward the bar and Dale and I knew we were in for a long night. The girls spotted two more and, well, the rest is difficult for me to recount so I'll leave it to the imagination. I'll just say that the second set of Old Cubans left our table just as drained as the first.

On the drive back home, Daphne and the Tiki Gal talked incessantly about the satisfaction that the Old Cubans had brought to them. Being the forward thinking husbands that we are, Dale and I promised to invite a few Old Cubans over to the Tiki Hut some night in the near future because we knew how much pleasure the girls would get from another rendezvous. The girls, tired and contented, were happy with this news and I thought the excitement would die down for a while. I was wrong.

The very next day, Daphne found a picture of an Old Cuban on the Internet and texted it to the Tiki Gal. They sat and giggled over the picture for hours like a couple of love-sick teenagers over a picture of one of those Twilight actors. Then, Daphne found directions to the Old Cubans on the Internet and printed them out for later consultation. Dale and I began to get worried. This was no simple case of puppy love. Daphne and the Tiki Gal had a full-on infatuation with the Old Cubans. This was serious.

We decided that if we were going to have to share the girls with Old Cubans, we should at least do it in the privacy of the Tiki Hut. So using the directions provided by Daphne, we rounded up what we thought was a more than sufficient supply of Old Cubans and brought them to the Tiki Hut one evening. The girls were excited but nervous. What if these Old Cubans weren't as... fulfilling as the Brady Tavern originals? What if these Old Cubans couldn't hit the mark set so high on that evening just a few weeks before?

Daphne and the Tiki Gal soon learned they had nothing to fear. They went at the first set of Old Cubans with a deep-seated thirst that was barely slated. They quickly called for two more Old Cubans and quickly exhausted them as well. The third pair of Old Cubans made an entrance and were just as quickly used up. Dale and I were looking at each other in amazement. We had never seen the girls go at it quite like this. Watching them was scary and exhilarating all at the same time. Our anticipation was quickly building, as you can imagine, when the girls called for the fourth pair of Old Cubans. This was unprecedented. Four times in one night! Dale and I wondered if this would carry over into the rest of the evening while rubbing our hands together in anticipation. When will we ever learn?

After the girls finished with their fourth set of Old Cubans, they were exhausted. They were a bit giddy and their cheeks were flushed from all the pleasure they had drained from those fellows but any further activity was well beyond them. They needed sleep and they needed it right now. With smiles on our faces but disappointment in our hearts, Dale and I put the girls to bed, tucked them in, and lay awake thinking about what might have been... what might have been if they hadn't just had four Old Cubans each.

Old Cuban

½ ounce lime juice

½ ounce simple syrup

8-10 fresh mint leaves

2 ounces aged or good-quality rum

2 dashes Angostura bitters
Dry champagne

Muddle the mint leaves in a mixing glass along with the lime juice, simple syrup, bitters and rum. Shake well with ice and strain into a martini glass. Strain again if desired. Top with champagne and drop a mint leaf in for a garnish.

Simple Syrup

Bring one cup water to a boil. Turn off heat and add two cups sugar. Stir until sugar is dissolved. Let cool before using. Refrigerate unused portion.