Water Spacers

After visiting Roatan and Maya Chan on successive days, Daphne, Dale, the Tiki Gal and I were worried that the Nachi Cocum beach club in Cozumel would not be able to compete. We'd always had a great time in Cozumel - except for Daphne since this was her first visit... of course, every trip to Cozumel for Carol was her first as well... what a strange coincidence - but we didn't know if it could be as wonderful as we remembered. Once we were seated under our thatch umbrella on the white beach with the bright blue waves rolling in, however, it just felt like home.

Nachi Cocum

For some reason, we always suffer minor mishaps in Cozumel such as: diamond shopping gone wrong, panic attacks, sprinting down the pier so that we aren't left behind, capsized banana boats, near drowning due to capsized banana boat, nose bleeds, tequila overindulgence, terrifying cab rides and being spanked with a noodle. If you look carefully at the list of mishaps, you may find one mishap that is the cause of all the others. I'll wait while you try to find it... a little longer for the slower students... good job everyone. Tequila overindulgence seems to have been the root cause of our problems in Cozumel. Daphne had heard of our issues, puzzled this out beforehand and offered a solution: water spacers. The idea is that you drink a bottle of water between alcoholic drinks. That way, you drink less alcohol and have more time to process the alcohol you've already drunk. We decided to give the water spacers a try to see if it would help.

Unfortunately for us, the mishaps began before we even left the pier. We got off the ship, walked down the long dock, wound through the shopping area and got in line to catch a cab. While waiting, Dale discovered that someone had removed his swim suit from his bag and left it on the ship. He took off at a sprint to retrieve his swim suit so Daphne, the Tiki Gal and I waited by a tee shirt shop for him to return. While waiting, we read the tee shirts and were surprised by what they said. Since this is a family blog, I won't reprint the sayings but just know that your grandmother would not approve if you wore one of those shirts to Sunday dinner. Breathless, Dale arrived back with his swim suit and we took a cab to Nachi Cocum.

Everything looked just like we remembered it: the thatch covered dining and bar area, the pool and swim up bar, the beautiful beach with thatch covered umbrellas, the crystal clear, blue water of the Caribbean. We were escorted to our umbrella and lounge chairs so we set up camp. Once we were all arranged, we ordered our morning beverages and settled in to relax. A little later, while Dale and the girls were changing clothes, a snorkel boat operator named Jesus asked me if I wanted to schedule a snorkeling expedition for later in the day. I am not the social coordinator of our group (and don't want to be) so I told him I'd think about it. Later, while Dale and I were enjoying the ocean, Jesus told the girls that I was considering the snorkeling tour by saying "The bald, he think it." Of course, the girls thought this was hilarious so they tried to talk him into asking me if I wanted my hair braided. He replied, "I'm not going to say, he kick my ass."

Thatch umbrellas in paradise

The clear, blue water of the Caribbean was a little bit chilly so we decided to spend some time in the hot tub. The hot tub wasn't very hot but it did border the swim up bar so we toughed it out. We were enjoying the sun and the drinks while trying to use the water spacer theory - I think the girls did a better job of this than I did - when the bartenders noticed that there was some flotsam floating around in the hot tub. They called a guy over to dip the leaves out of the hot tub so we cleared out while he was working. Unfortunately for me, I chose to step over the side of the hot tub onto a ledge that ran the length of the pool. Just as I was walking along the ledge past the guy with the skimming net, a rogue wave slammed up on the beach and knocked me off into the pool. Through many years of training, I've learned to protect a beer as if it were a Faberge egg so I managed to keep the bottle of Sol I was carrying above the water even while I sucked in half the pool. With only a little thrashing about, I managed to get back on my feet, get my head above the water, and check on my beer. The girls were rolling on the ground at this point and the bartenders were trying to blame the guy with the skimmer for knocking me into the pool. It was only then that I realized that the pool was freezing cold and so was I. I climbed up the steps with my head down, leaving what little dignity I still possessed at the bottom of the pool. On the other hand, my beer was not lost and that is the most important thing. Also, I drank a slightly chlorinated water spacer without even trying.

Once I had recovered and the hot tub was clean, we got back in and were soon joined by several couples from a different cruise ship. The first thing I noticed was that the ladies all seemed to have been in the shop for the addition of some accessories, if you know what I mean. As we chatted, we found that they had been to Maya Chan earlier in the week. They raved about the bartender and the awesome drinks. Apparently, they had a different bartender at Maya Chan than we did because the mixed drinks we got there were not very good. The mixed drinks at Nachi Cocum more than made up for the disappointment we felt, however. Our bartenders, Jose and Mario, kept the beers and the Mamasitas (with an occasional Margarita mixed in for variety) coming.

After we had been drinking in the hot tub for quite some time, Jesus dropped by and talked us into going snorkeling. In hindsight, snorkeling after a morning of drinking in a hot tub is probably not the best idea. I also forgot to mention that the hurricane force winds had followed us from Costa Maya so the waves were pretty big. So just to be clear, snorkeling in big waves after a morning of drinking in a hot tub is really not a good idea. At the time, we thought it was a grand idea so we grabbed beers to go and hopped in the boat with Jesus and one other lady who was going snorkeling. I thought it was a very good sign when I noticed that she had a small sea turtle tattooed on her ankle. This truly was the cruise of the turtle.

I wasn't feeling so good, however, when we reached the reef and I jumped into water that was twenty feet deep. I was immediately pounded by the four foot waves as I tried to get my mask and snorkel in place. After I put my face down in the water and started swimming along, however, the waves were not so bad. The first time we snorkeled in Cozumel was before hurricane Wilma hit in 2005. At that time, the reef was beautiful and there were fish everywhere. Unfortunately, the reef has not yet recovered from Wilma. There are still areas where the coral is pretty but there are also many places where the reef appears to be either dead or dying. There are fewer fish than there were and of fewer varieties. I had never considered that a hurricane could alter the environment below the surface of the water as much as the environment on the shore. In Cozumel, there is proof of the awesome power these storms can pack. We still saw many fish and coral formations but it just wasn't the same.

We did learn that the pure terror caused by snorkeling in choppy, freezing water works just as well as water spacers. Back in Jesus' boat, we happily drank to our health and rode back to Nachi Cocum. We ate lunch, drank the many shots and drinks that Jose and Mario kept sending to our table, and then walked along the beach collecting shells. (A word of advice, if the shells have not split open, do not bring them home. The whole shells still contain the sea critter and will eventually open up, the critter will die, and will then stink up your entire house. At least that's what I've heard...)

The Mario Special

Before leaving for the day, Dale and I had to visit the swim up bar. As I've mentioned, the pool water was freezing cold but a swim up bar is something that cannot be passed up. We gingerly waded through the water to the bar where Jose and Mario gave us tequila shots. We were really surprised when they poured shots for themselves and drank with us. We had never seen them do that with anyone before. Feeling quite special, and somewhat toasty, we slogged our way back out of the pool and caught a cab for the trip back to the pier.

Mario and Jose

Thanks to Daphne and her water spacer idea, none of us spent the night wishing we had never visited Cozumel. If only Carol had known this trick, maybe things would have turned out differently for her. We will never know...