The Red Light Curse and Other Afflictions

The Tiki Gal and I joined Dale and Carol for dinner at Abuelo's on Saturday night. The food was really good. Dale and I got crab filled enchiladas covered in a lobster sauce with vegetables, shrimp and scallops on top. Carol had a chimichanga and the Tiki Gal had fajitas. We ordered a pitcher of margaritas that served four and cost half as much as my car is worth (I'm barely exaggerating.) Unfortunately, the pitcher was still cheaper than it would have been if each of us ordered a drink. It is much cheaper to make margaritas at home and they are typically better than anything you can get in a restaurant (unless you buy the Bucket o' Margaritas and a bottle of Tijuana's best tequila.) See the Mostly Margaritas entry for good recipes and tequila tips.

After dinner, we came back to the Tiki Hut where the girls had Coco Cabanas and Dale and I had margaritas. We did play a few games of cards. Dale and I finally put an end to the Pitch curse we've been suffering through. Carol then dominated a game of Cutthroat.

On Sunday, the Tiki Gal and I decided to go to a movie. As we were driving to the theater, we experienced a phenomenon that is all too familiar to us but may be unknown to some out there. This phenomenon is known as Tiki Man's Red Light Curse. No matter where I go, what time it is, or how much traffic is on the road, I hit roughly 99% of all traffic lights red. Worse than that, I not only hit them red - I hit them just as they are turning red so that I have to sit through the entire light cycle before I can go again. This affliction is a never ending source of frustration for me and my family. It never fails that when we need to be somewhere quickly - such as a movie - the Red Light Curse will hit in full force. I have gone for months at a time without hitting a green light. It has gotten so bad that extended family members, friends, and even slight acquaintances groan whenever I am forced to drive and we come upon a light that is just turning from yellow to red. I feel that I should apologize to all drivers who are anywhere near the Tiki Mobile whenever the curse hits and they all have to stop as well - actually, most other drivers frustrate me so they all deserve it. Anyway, on Sunday I was driving along and automatically slowed to stop at an upcoming light. The Tiki Gal chuckled and mentioned that the light was green so I didn't have to stop. I was shocked. I hadn't hit a green light - or even coasted through a yellow - in forever.

The worst thing about the Red Light Curse is that it is hereditary. My son has only been driving for a year but he already has a serious case of RLC. There are two stop lights in our town that are only supposed to turn red when there are cars entering and leaving the high school. My son and I are the only two people in town who consistently have to stop at those lights - at night. When there is no school function. And not another car in sight.

Closely related to my Red Light Curse is my You Picked the Wrong Checkout Line Curse. No matter how short the line is, if there is a single person ahead of me something strange always happens to ensure that I will spend twenty minutes waiting. I was behind an older couple in a "20 items or less" line once. The couple had approximately 60 items in their cart but they paid for them 20 at a time. I guess they were sticklers for the rules. I thought my luck had changed another time when I was in an "Express Lane." The gentleman in front of me only had four or five items. The cashier checked him out quickly and put those items in two bags. Unfortunately for me, the gentleman only took one of those bags with him after he paid and left. The cashier noticed the bag that was left behind after scanning my one item and trying to place it in the bag that already had stuff in it. The cashier then grabbed up the orphaned bag and sprinted out the door into the parking lot to find the owner. My item was checked but I hadn't paid yet so I had to stand there while super clerk found the rightful owner of some deodorant and toothpaste. 

I also manage to always get behind the people who are using their credit card for the very first time. While it is amusing to watch them try to figure out the credit card machines, it is never a speedy operation. Once, I was behind a lady that whipped out some strange credit card that wouldn't even work in the machine. The cashier pulled out one of those old mechanical credit card readers that use the carbon paper insert. Of course the cashier had never used the archaic, mechanical machine before so I spent ten minutes of my life watching her try to figure it out. On the way home I hit every red light.

And you wonder why I drink?