On Saturday, February 6 at approximately 11 a.m. we finally set out for our long awaited Caribbean cruise. Little did we know, at that inauspicious beginning, that our trip would be so full of laughter, tragedy, redemption, love lost and love found, forbidden tropical secrets, small animal attacks, numerous rogue waves, new friends, surly old curmudgeons, and copious amounts of nudity (not our own, by the way.) There is so much to tell that I really don’t know where to start. In these cases, I always find it best to begin at the beginning.
Dale and Carol picked the Tiki Gal and me up at the Tiki Hut and we started out on our nine hour drive to Houston using Dale and Carol’s new GPS for directions. The voice we chose for the GPS was named Samantha so Dale and I affectionately called her Sam. The girls also called her Sam but not so affectionately, especially after the “Sulphur Springs Incident.”
Every time we go on a road trip, the Tiki Gal takes a tattered old road atlas because she likes to be in control, er, uh… (was that my out-loud voice?)… likes to be prepared for emergencies. Anyway, we had been driving for some time and finally left Oklahoma and entered Texas. We were all surprised that we were in Texas because we hadn’t passed through the towns we usually pass through on our way to Dallas. The Tiki Gal whipped out her atlas and discovered that Sam had set a route for us that was quite a bit different than the one we usually take. Instead of going to Dallas and heading down I-45 to Houston, we would be taking small highways through every small town in central Texas. This revelation led to some intense criticism of Sam’s navigational abilities from the back seat where the girls were lounging. Of course, Dale and I ignored this criticism, patted Sam on the back, and continued on our merry way.
We were starting to get hungry when we got to Sulphur Springs, Texas so Carol found a promising restaurant that served burgers on her iPhone and I programmed the location into Sam. Sam picked the route and began telling us to turn right onto roads that did not exist. As we passed these “roads” that looked a whole lot like cow pastures, Sam would recalculate the route and choose another road that wasn’t there. Obviously, I had done something wrong when programming the address into poor Sam but the girls took extreme delight in pointing out Sam’s deficiencies. Finally, Sam told us to turn right onto County Road 1067 and, thankfully, CR 1067 appeared on our right. Dale made the turn onto a tiny road that might have been built originally for horses and wagons. We followed this road around a curve, past a house that might have been guarded by shotgun wielding moonshiners, and onto an even tinier road that was not paved. Actually, calling this new track a road is quite an exaggeration. It was more like a trail. We promptly turned around and went back the way we came. It might have been our imagination, but we were almost sure we heard dueling banjos playing in the distance.
I reprogrammed Sam and she seemed to find her bearings. She directed us into the middle of Sulphur Springs, through a business district, and told us our destination was on the right. Unfortunately, the restaurant we were looking for was not at the destination Sam had chosen. I have to admit the glee that issued from the back seat was a little sickening. You should never kick a GPS unit when she is down.
We turned around again and stopped at Bodacious Barbecue (which also wasn’t where Sam said it was.) We left Sam in the car to collect herself and had wonderful pork sandwiches for lunch.
Afterwards, Sam found her bearings and we had a mostly uneventful drive through small town, Texas. At one point, we were talking about life in general and Carol stated that she was “living from vacation to vacation.” I thought this was an accurate way to describe our lives.
Late in the afternoon, the sun finally peeked out from behind the clouds. We didn’t know it at the time, but this was a sign of the good times to come. Unfortunately, Dale’s sunglasses had been broken a few weeks earlier in a freak seismic event so he was forced to wear a pair of Carol’s. As you can see in the picture below, he totally made it work. Sam, looking a little chagrined, is also in the picture.
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| Dale and Sam |
I’ve written before about my Charlie Brown tendencies that tend to kick into overdrive on vacations and this trip was no different, as you will see. My bad luck tends to also spill over onto others so Carol has forbidden me from entering convenience stores with her if she plans to buy lottery tickets. We stopped for gas somewhere in Texas so Carol and the Tiki Gal sprinted inside while Dale and I stood in the freezing cold and pumped gas. While we were pumping gas, the girls discovered that they had to buy their scratch-off lottery tickets from a vending machine. The Tiki Gal bought hers without incident. As Carol started to buy hers, Dale and I finished up with the gas and walked into the store. At the exact minute I stepped inside the doorway, the lottery ticket vending machine had a malfunction and ate Carol’s money. This is the power I have.
We drove through Houston to the Clear Lake area and went to dinner at our favorite, pre-cruise restaurant, The Italian Café. The Italian Café doesn’t serve alcohol but they do let you bring your own so we went to the liquor store and bought a bottle of wine. The food was good as usual.
After dinner, we went to the Kemah Boardwalk – also a tradition. It was around 9 p.m. when we arrived and we were surprised to find that everything was shutting down. Dale and I were particularly disappointed that Landry’s was closed because we were hoping to find Fat Tire on tap. Instead, we rode a roller coaster on the boardwalk and had margaritas at the Cadillac Bar.
The next day is a day that will be forever in our memories. It is the day the Tiki Gal and I lost a dear friend and Dale lost his wife. Yes, it is true. Carol is gone.
The day started out well. While the Tiki Gal and Carol were getting dressed, Dale and I went to Target for last minute essentials like sunglasses and hand soap. We then picked up coffee and kolaches for breakfast. When we got back to the hotel, the girls were ready so we ate, packed up, and left for Galveston.
In Galveston, we stopped for lunch at our favorite pre-cruise lunch spot, The Fisherman’s Wharf and this is where tragedy struck. Our waiter was named C.J. and recommended the drink of the day. He then mentioned that it came in a souvenir cup. We can’t pass up a souvenir cup so we all ordered one. As C.J. was delivering our drinks, it happened.
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| The site of the incident |
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| The souvenir cup |
A Cat Five Hurricane hit The Fisherman’s Wharf and, I’m sad to say, Carol was swept out to sea. We tried to save her but it is hard to swim when you have a souvenir cup in one hand and fried onion strings and jalapenos in the other. The last we saw of her, she was going down for the third time and I think she muttered, “I always hated the name Carol anyway…”
We had a moment of silence right there at the table. Poor Dale was heartbroken. He held his head in his hands for a few minutes so the Tiki Gal and I left him to his grief. Also, the food had arrived so we were busy eating. When Dale looked up, a single tear rolled down his cheek. Just then, however, his eyes began to sparkle as something caught his attention behind me. I turned in time to see a young lady saunter into the restaurant. Dale stood up and their eyes met. I could tell it was love at first sight. Dale asked her to join us so she sat down. Her name was Daphne and she was in town because she had heard Peter Mayer might be playing his red guitar at a club in Houston. Peter hadn’t shown so she drove to Galveston to sit and look at the brown, murky water of the gulf while she contemplated what to do with her life. Dale mentioned that he now had an extra ticket for a romantic, seven day Caribbean cruise and invited Daphne to join him. She said yes, of course, and the rest is history. While we will always miss Carol, Daphne has turned out to be eerily similar in so many ways. The most important thing is that Dale is happy, although he mentioned later on in the cruise that the donut suit didn’t work on Daphne either. Oh well, you can’t have everything.
This blog entry is dedicated to the memory of Carol. Wherever she is, may the rum always flow and the Barry Manilow tunes never stop.
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| We will always remember you, Carol. |
