Feeling Wicked

The Tiki Gal and I joined Dale and Carol last night for dinner and Wicked, the musical. Carol did a masterful job of coordinating the evening, as always. The restaurant was very good and our seats at the show were great. If she ever decides to go into business as a travel planner, the Tiki Gal and I will be her biggest customers.

We started out with dinner at The Chalkboard in Tulsa. The restaurant is located in the Ambassador hotel and has been in business since the 1970s. The dinner was excellent and the Tiki Gal was excited to find out that Creme Brulee was on the menu for dessert. I think she would walk across a pit of fire for a good creme brulee and The Chalkboard serves a good one. We also found out that they serve Chimay White and that it may be on tap so I, for one, might be making another visit soon.

I wasn't sure what to expect from the musical. I read the book a few years ago and enjoyed it (I also read all of Gregory Maguire's other novels as well) but I didn't know how the story would translate to the theater. It turns out that it translated very well. The actress that played Elpheba was an amazing singer and the actress that played Galinda with a silent Guh stole every scene she was in. I gave it 4.5 pints out of 5 and there was not a hint of skunkiness.

This past weekend, our friends came over to the Tiki Hut and we had drinks and beer in the clear summer night. It turns out that our neighbors were also having friends over. They had apparently started in on the beer quite a bit earlier than we did because they cranked up the stereo for Fun, Fun, Fun by the Beach Boys and Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. I'm pretty sure that those two songs have never been cranked up at the same party before in all of history. I wanted to crank up some Beethoven to complete the bizzaro triumvirate but didn't have the amplification to pull it off. Instead, we decided to have some drinks. The girls started out with Margaritas and then (since I ran out of Sweet and Sour mix) switched to Coco Cabanas. The recipes follow since I haven't posted these in quite some time.

A Really Good Margarita

Ingredients: 4 oz. Sweet and Sour Mix, 2 oz. tequila, 1 oz. Cointreau, 1 oz. brandy

Instructions: Put all ingredients in a shaker with ice and shake well. Pour into a salt rimmed Margarita glass over ice and serve. For a frozen Margarita, pour all contents into a blender with 1 cup ice and blend well.

Comments: For the girls, I have learned to use 5 ounces of Sweet and Sour and 1 ounce of tequila. That way, they can have more than one Margarita and still stay upright. I call it the Little Girl Margarita.

Coco Cabana

Color: Red

Ingredients: 3 oz. orange juice, 3 oz. cranberry juice, 1 oz. coconut rum, 1 oz. Amaretto

Instructions: Shake well and serve over ice.

Taste: Delicate coconut and fruit flavors.

Comments: The girls had already had Margaritas so I'm not sure how much of the Coco Cabana they really tasted.

Dale brought over a collection of new beers to try. The ratings follow.

Marshall McNellie's Pub Ale

Color: Amber

Skunkiness: 0 skunks

Taste: Malty with a slight caramel taste. The extreme

bitterness of this beer overrides all the other flavors, however. It also had an unpleasant finish.

Comments: I really wanted to like this beer because it is brewed in Tulsa and is named after our favorite pub. Unfortunately, it was so bitter that we contemplated not finishing it. Of course, we did finish it. It is beer after all.

Carol Rating: 1 on a scale of 1 or 5.

Rating: 2 pints out of 5

Samuel Smith Taddy Porter

Color: Black like coffee

Skunkiness: 0 skunks

Taste: Smoky, malty and peaty.

Comments: The girls decided once again that they are fans of dark beers like this Taddy Porter. They decide this each time they have a dark beer, I think. This beer also joins our chosen few at the top of the rankings.

Carol Rating: 5

Rating: 4.5 pints

Guiness Anniversary Stout

Color: Black

Skunkiness: 0 skunks

Taste: Well balanced blend of hops and malts. Smooth and rich.

Comments: I like this Anniversary Stout better than the original Guinness Stout.

Carol Rating: 5

Rating: 4 pints

Freak of Nature

As I go about my daily business, I'm frequently asked, "Tiki Man, how did you choose the name Rogue Wave Tiki Bar?" I always answer the same way. "That is an extremely good question. Let me answer it by telling you a little story."

In the summer of '08, the Tiki Gal and I went on a cruise with Dale and Carol. As wives are rumored to do, Carol asked Dale to do her a favor by picking up some bottled water to take on the ship. Dale, as husbands are rumored to do, wanted to please Carol as best he could so he purchased the super duper case of thirty extra large sixteen ounce bottles. If you've never carried a super duper case of extra large water bottles for a short distance, it is very heavy. Fortunately, Dale didn't have to carry the case of water for a short distance. Unfortunately, he had to carry it approximately 7.3 miles. And this is where his trouble began.

Dale and I dropped the girls off at the entrance to the cruise terminal in Galveston, Texas along with all of our luggage except for a few carry-on bags and the case of water. We then drove a short distance away and parked the car in a secured lot and grabbed the rest of our gear. We each had a backpack and a couple of carry-on bags. And Dale had the case of water. I manged to wrestle the carry-on bags away but Dale insisted on carrying the water as we made our way to the shuttle bus that would take us back to the cruise terminal. Once on the bus, we packed ourselves into a seat with the backpacks and carry-on bags and then Dale held the water in his lap. I could swear the bus was leaning heavily to the side we were sitting on, most likely due to the weight of the water. Of course, as soon as we had gotten packed into our seats, the Tiki Gal called me on my cell phone which was in the pocket of my shorts. Under the bags and water. I was able to dislocate my shoulder and snag the phone just in time to hear my wonderful wife ask me, "Where are you?" I'm wondering where she thought we were? Gnome, Alaska? London, maybe? The local Hooters?

Anyway, the bus dropped us off at the terminal and we discovered a sneaky secret the cruise companies are trying to keep from us. They know that the majority of the cruisers are going to gain between two and thirty-two pounds eating all of the food that is served on the ship. Some people are unhappy about this weight gain and may, therefore, blame this on the cruise line and decide to vacation in less tempting spots in the future. To counter this weight gain, the cruise line has created a near marathon length line for you to wait in, walk along, and occasionally, cry over. As we started off, Dale was doing fine. He was carrying his three metric tons of water with only a few beads of perspiration glistening on his forehead. As the line continued, however, Dale's back began to bend under the weight. Finally, we reached one of those zig-zagging roped off crowd corrals that cruise lines and amusement parks use to keep an orderly line from turning into a milling herd. Dale was really glistening at this point and his arms had grown four inches longer so he put the case of water on the floor and kicked it along. The other passengers were more amused by this than Dale, I think. Also, he now had a dislocated toe and a pulled groin to go along with his hyperextended elbows.

Once we finally got on the ship and Dale had stowed his water in his room, we thought all was well. The next day, however, we had lunch at a pizza bar near a hot tub. For some strange reason, the ship was leaning so much to one side that the pool was draining onto the deck and the water was pooling around our feet while we sat at a table. Was it just a coincidence that Dale and Carol's cabin - the cabin containing the super duper case of extra large water bottles - was on the same side of the ship that the water was pooling to? Just to be safe, we moved some of the water to my cabin on the other side of the ship. It is extremely difficult to right a tipped cruise ship, or so I've heard.

All of the extra weight in the back of the boat may have had something to do with the other oddities that occurred or it may have just been a freak of nature. We may never know. The first situation happened while Dale and I were preparing to play cards in a lounge area on the ship while the girls went back to the cabin for pen and paper. Dale was opening a bottle of red wine and just as the cork was about to pop, the strangest thing happened. A tiny, focused rogue wave hit the ship just under Dale's feet causing the cork and a quantity of wine to leave the wine bottle at high velocity. The wine, once free of the restricting bottle, spread its little wings and flew in all directions. Miraculously, even though a family was sitting in the direct path of the wine spray, no one was hit. Dale and I looked at each other and immediately thought the same thing, "We've got to clean this up before the girls get back." Years of being a husband tend to make you fear messes that you've caused yourself above almost everything else. Just as we were mopping up the last of the wine, the girls came back and after giving us that look that says, "I leave you alone for five minutes and look what you get yourself into," wanted to know what had happened. For some reason, they weren't buying the tiny rogue wave story but Dale and I intend to stick to it anyway.

The next tiny rogue wave hit while we were having dinner in the supper club. Dale and the Tiki Gal ordered Caesar salad so the waiter brought out all the ingredients and tossed the salad table side. We were surprised to see that instead of chopping the romaine lettuce leaves up, the waiter just threw the whole leaves into the bowl and mixed them up with the dressing. While Dale was eating his salad, a tiny, focused rogue wave hit the ship again - and again directly under him. This shock caused Dale to drop a piece of lettuce on the floor. Carol gave him that patented look again and then she and the Tiki Gal spent the rest of the meal giving Dale a hard time. When we had eaten more than we should have and were leaving, the Tiki Gal and I got our first look at the lettuce that Dale had dropped. We had expected to see a small piece of lettuce on the floor but, as the Tiki Gal so succinctly put it, if the ship had sprung a leak and began sinking, all four of us could have hopped in the lettuce leaf and floated to safety.

The tiny rogue waves might have caused Dale problems on the cruise but they also gave me the perfect name for my tiki bar. Once I'm open for business, Dale is in charge of music and beer but we'll keep him away from the wine and salad. You can never be too careful.

This past weekend, Dale and Carol joined us at the Tiki Hut for drinks by the pool. Dale was kind enough to share his birthday beer with me so here are the ratings.

Paulaner Original

Color: Golden

Skunkiness: 0 skunks.

Taste: Sweet yet hoppy with a hint of honey.

Comments: The girls thought the golden color was very pretty.

Carol Rating: 1 on a scale of 1 or 5.

Rating: 4 pints out of 5.

Paulaner Oktoberfest

Color: Golden brown

Skunkiness: 0 skunks.

Taste: Malty and slightly bitter with a hint of molasses.

Comments: While malty like the previous beer, the Paulaner Oktoberfest wasn't quite as sweet. Also worth having again.

Carol Rating: 5

Rating: 4 pints.

Spaten Oktoberfest

Color: Caramel

Skunkiness: 0 skunks.

Taste: Malty and sweet. Had the same character as the Paulaner Original.

Comments: This is a nice, sweet dark beer. It is worth having again.

Carol Rating: 5

Rating: 4 pints.

Not Quite the Right Destin-ation

Whenever I visit a tropical locale, I determine if it would make a good spot for the Rogue Wave Tiki Bar. While I wouldn't say Destin, Florida is exactly a tropical locale, there is a beach and salt water there and for a guy from Oklahoma, that is close enough. Now that I've had time to reflect on the Tiki family's vacation in Destin a few weeks ago, I've decided that it is definitely not the place for my bar.

Before I get to the reasons I don't want to settle in Destin, I'd like to point out the good qualities of the area. For one, the beaches are beautiful. The sand is white, powdery, and most importantly, doesn't burn the soles off of your feet even on a hot day. The water is a shimmering green fading into darker blue and is clear of seaweed and trash and we weren't attacked by dangerous creatures while swimming. The importance of nice water can't be overstated. A few years ago, we went to the beach in Corpus Christi. The water was dirty,

brown and polluted with garbage and muck. Also, both of my kids were stung by jellyfish within ten seconds of each other. Instead of swimming in the ocean, it felt more like we were contestants on Fear Factor.

There are also many things to do in Destin. While we were there, we went snorkeling, para-sailing and fishing and we spent a few days just lounging around on the beach and splashing in the waves. We also could have rented jet skis or a boat, taken a ride on a huge speedboat, gone on a dolphin spotting tour, or gone scuba diving. Even more exciting, we could have gone to the Destin Fishing Museum. Why we passed up this hidden gem I'll never know. Oh, and there was also a water park directly across the street from our condo. If you are bored while in Destin, it is your own fault.

Next, the variety of restaurant choices is staggering. There are, as you can imagine, many seafood restaurants. We enjoyed Dewey Destin the best of those we tried. There is also an Irish pub called McGuire's that brews its own beer (I had the Irish Red and rated it at 3.5 pints out of 5) and many of the typical chain restaurants you would expect to see in any sizable city in America.

Finally, and I'm not sure this is actually a good thing, there are many places to shop in Destin. My daughter was extremely happy with the shopping choices. We went to an outdoor shopping mall with all of her favorite stores and she spent some time in each of them. My son and I spent a lot of time standing on the sidewalk waiting on her and the Tiki Gal. The night turned out good for me as well, however. On our way out of the mall, we took a wrong turn somewhere (the Tiki Gal blamed it on, in turn, the GPS unit and me) and found the best beer store I've ever had the pleasure to visit. Even though it was called Wine World, it had more varieties of good beer than I've seen in one place so the next time Dale and Carol are up for a beer run, I'll suggest we go there. We might need to pack a toothbrush.

Even with all of these wonderful things about Destin, I would not want the Rogue Wave Tiki Bar there and here is the reason. When I think of the perfect setting for my Tiki Bar, I imagine a sandy beach, crashing waves and the beautiful palm trees rustling gently in the wind. On this beach, I imagine a few people scattered here and there: a young couple holding hands as they walk in the surf, a mom and dad sitting on a blanket watching their young children building a sand castle, an older couple sitting in the shade of an umbrella while sipping Pina Coladas. What I don't see in my imagination are beach umbrellas packed so closely together in rows five or six deep that you can't find a path through them to get to the water - water that you can't even see because of all the beach umbrellas. I also don't see so many people crowded into the water that it looks like the outdoor pool at the local Y on a steaming Saturday in July. Furthermore, I certainly don't see squadrons of jet skis ripping up and down the coastline like so many Hell's Angels in Speedos. Unfortunately, you can find these things in Destin all too easily.

I know, I know... A Tiki Bar amongst the teeming masses would assuredly make more money than one in the tranquil setting I see in my head. Here's the problem though. If my bar is crowded and rowdy and sunburned fat guys are drinking pints of beer through funnels while scantily clad ladies are dancing suggestively to some heavy bass beat, it will not be a Tiki Bar that I would want to visit much less call my own (okay, I could live with the scantily clad ladies part but the rest is definitely out.) And if I don't want to be there, how is that different than sitting in an office all day pushing papers or digging ditches or grading paper after paper. It would just be another job and that would be depressing. So give me the quiet beach with a few well behaved patrons ordering Rum Punches and Pina Coladas. I may not ever get rich but who needs money when you are living and working in paradise.

Irish Car Bombed

This past weekend, the Tiki Gal and I joined Dale and Carol at a great Irish pub in Tulsa called Kilkenny's. Dale and Carol had been there once before but had been quickly chased out by a vicious fog of cigarette smoke. Since that visit, however, Kilkenney's went smoke free so we decided to go there for dinner.

I have absolutely no experience with anything Irish but that won't stop me from saying that I though Kilkenny's was an extremely authentic looking Irish pub. It was filled with dark woods and dark colors. There were a few people just having drinks at the bar but most of the customers were having dinner. We were led to a table and given menus and left to ponder the many, many choices.

Dale and I quickly found the beer section of the menu. There were around fifteen beers listed and, unfortunately, we had already tried them all. We did notice, however, that there was a "Specials" section. The Specials seemed to be beers mixed with other stuff. After looking this list over, we decided to try an Irish Car Bomb that was listed as a mixture of Guinness, Irish whiskey, and Bailey's Irish Cream. When our waitress came back for our order, the conversation went like this:

Me: I'll have an Irish Car Bomb.

Waitress: Would you like something else as well. Because the Irish Car Bomb is like a shot.

Me: Oh, well... okay... (flipping back through menu frantically)... I guess I'll have a Newcastle.

Dale ordered the same and the girls both ordered wine (someday, somewhere one of them will order a beer and a heavenly glow will surround us as trumpets sound and Republicans and Democrats embrace... Or pigs will fly.) Anyway, we got some advice on the dinner menu from the waitress before she went on her way to get our drinks. Kilkenny's has many, many choices of entrees. There were Irish favorites, something called a boxty, traditional pub fare, and traditional American food. There were so many choices, it was a little overwhelming. As we studied the menus, our waitress came back with our drinks. The first thing we noticed is that she had two half-full pint glasses on her tray. Hey, we thought, she's only giving us half of a beer. Unfortunately for us, that wasn't the case.

It turns out that an Irish Car Bomb is only like a shot in that you drink it down all at once. It is not at all like a shot in the size department. As you can see from the picture below, the Irish Car Bomb consists of a half full pint glass of Guinness and a two ounce shot glass that has a mixture of half Irish whiskey and half Bailey's. The waitress told us that the trick was to drop the shot glass into the pint of Guinness and then drink it as fast as possible. She also said it would taste like chocolate milk. Since she said the drink was "like a shot" I wasn't inclined to believe that it would taste anything like chocolate milk. "Like a shot." I'd love to see her idea of a pint glass. I bet you measure it in gallons.

With fear in our eyes, Dale and I put the shot glasses into position and on the girls' count, dropped them in. I hadn't chugged anything stronger than water since college so I was a bit worried as I raised the pint glass to my mouth. I was happily surprised that the waitress was right. The Irish Car Bomb does taste a little like chocolate milk. The Bailey's gives it a nice creaminess to combine with the malty taste of the Guinness and Irish whiskey. Dale and I both drained our glasses in no time at all and, most importantly, no one lost a tooth due to an out of control shot glass. We decided the Irish Car Bomb was really good and considered having another later on. I did wonder why it had its particular name because it didn't seem all that dangerous at first glance. About ten minutes later, however, I knew exactly why it was called the Irish Car Bomb and had decided against having another.

We ordered our dinner choices and sat chatting while sipping our beer and wine. Dale and I have had Newcastle many times but we have not rated it yet so we planned to rate it before we finished. The Irish Car Bomb had other ideas for us. By the time our dinner arrived, that little buzzing you get behind your eyes after a few drinks had settled in. I even mentioned to Dale that I was feeling the effects of our "shot." My food was great, however, so I dug in. I had ordered a breakfast boxty which is an omelet wrapped in a potato pancake and covered in Hollendaise sauce. Wow - it was really good. The Tiki Gal and Carol had also ordered boxtys and Dale ordered Cottage Pie. As we continued to eat and I continued to sip at my beer, the buzzing behind my eyes began to spread out to various parts of my body. It was a little weird, actually. I usually don't feel quite like that when I've had one drink too many but it was sort of interesting. However, when I tried to order dessert, I couldn't remember the words for "creme brulee." I guess Irish Car Bomb's blast away all the French phrases from your memory. I can think of worse side effects.

Another effect of an Irish Car Bomb is that you lose the ability to rate beers. For that reason, there will be no rating of Newcastle Brown Ale in this entry. I think it was good but it is hard to say. All of those buzzing body parts made it hard to concentrate.

On the way back to the car, I handed the keys over to the Tiki Gal. I'm proud to say that's only the second time I've had to do that in our time together. Now that the Irish Car Bomb has entered my life, though, she may be doing much more driving.

Florida Beer Mix

The Tiki family just returned from vacationing in Destin, Florida so there hasn't been much time for blogging lately. It is amazing how much time and effort it takes to transport a family of four from one place to another for a week. We had a great time, however, and I will write about some of our adventures over the next few weeks but today I feel the need to write about boat drinks and beer.

We joined Dale and Carol and last night to watch the city fireworks show and afterwards, Dale and Carol came over for drinks by the pool. During our trip to Destin, I borrowed the lists of ingredients for a few drinks from a Cheeseburger in Paradise restaurant and last night I tried to get the proportions to work. I was mostly successful although the Banana Breeze listed below has more Creme de Banana than I added last night. The Tiki Gal is very good at quality control and decided there wasn't enough banana taste. Also, she is the boss and I do what she says. Most of the time, anyway.

Goombay Smash

Color: Yellow

Ingredients: 2.5 oz. orange juice, 2.5 oz. pineapple juice, 1 oz. coconut rum, 1 oz. Creme de Banana, float Myer's dark rum.

Instructions: Shake all ingredients except the Myer's well and pour into hurricane glass with ice. Float the Myer's on top.

Taste: The Goombay Smash tastes similar to the Curious George.

Comments: The ingredients list was borrowed from a Cheeseburger in Paradise menu. The proportions are mine.

Electric Lizard

Color: Iguana green

Ingredients: 3 oz. sweet and sour mix, 1 oz. coconut rum, 1 oz. melon liqueur, Sprite.

Instructions: Shake all ingredients except the Sprite and pour into hurricane glass with ice. Fill to top with Sprite.

Taste: Sweet and tart. The melon and coconut tastes are an interesting combination.

Comments: Also borrowed from Cheeseburger in Paradise.

Banana Breeze

Color: Red

Ingredients: 2.5 oz. orange juice, 2.5 oz. pineapple juice, 1 oz. Myer's dark rum, 2 oz. Creme de Banana.

Taste: Like a banana dipped in a rum punch.

Comments: The ingredients for this drink were borrowed from Dewey Destins seafood restaurant in Destin, Florida. If you have a chance, stop by Dewey Destins for some amazing, fresh seafood and homemade key lime pie.

While in Destin, the Tiki Gal and I found the best beer selection I've ever seen inside a wine store. I couldn't resist buying a few new beers to try. While we were checking out, the clerk told us that Michael Jackson had died. Now those two events will forever be linked in my mind. I won't be able to think about Michael Jackson's death without remembering the awesome beer store and vice versa. I have that same weird correlation with Elvis' death and playing hide-and-seek at my grandmother's house (I was young when Elvis died. Just wanted to point that out.) . I think I might be odd. According to the Tiki Gal, there is no doubt about it.

Ayinger Jahrhundert Bier

Color: Golden.

Skunkiness: 0 skunks.

Taste: Hoppy, sweet, and very fizzy with a taste of honey.

Comments: While very hoppy, this beer has enough sweetness to offset the bitterness.

Carol Rating: 1 on a scale of 1 or 5. The girls were not fans of this beer. The word disgusting was even tossed around.

Rating: 4 pints out of 5.

Gouden Carolus Tripel

Color: Golden

Skunkiness: 0 skunks.

Taste: Hoppy with a taste of caramel. Sweet and zesty.

Comments: Though brewed in Belgium, this beer is very different than the Trappist variety. It was still good, however.

Carol Rating: 1. The girls thought they tasted some Banana Boat sunscreen in the beer. They even looked on the label for an SPF rating.

Rating: 4 pints.

Dogfish Head Raison D'Etre

Color: Dark amber.

Skunkiness: 0 skunks but a definite molasses smell.

Taste: Tasted like toffee and coffee. Peaty and character rich.

Comments: This beer won the American beer of the year award in 2000.

Carol Rating: 1. The girls were not fans of the beer mix from Florida.

Rating: 4 pints.